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Adoption, Fostering, and Gay Couples

This article will appear in tomorrow’s NY Times Magazine. It describes the loving home of a lesbian couple who’d taken in many foster children, but who found that their efforts to adopt a baby were less charitably viewed by the child’s court-appointed attorneys, the judge hearing the case, and the skittish child welfare department.

In many respects, the couple’s efforts were eerily reminiscent of our difficulties in adopting our twin daughters, with many of the corresponding players expressing just the same ignorance and effective lack of concern about the children’s best interests. Out of concern for our kids’ privacy, there’s a limit to what I’m willing to discuss, but I’m again reminded that when the system’s participants allow themselves the luxury of easy homophobia, it’s often the kids who lose.

The story of this couple isn’t even over. The West Virginia Supreme Court and some good fortune have made their ultimate success in adopting this child likelier, but they have ample reason to continue to worry. Believe me, I know. Spare them and their young child a thought.

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