Posts Tagged ‘Summer of Marriage Van’

The Worst Summer Vacation, Ever

July 13th, 2010 No comments

Pity the children of Brian Brown, President of the National Organization for Marriage. To satisfy dad’s need to poop on the marriage equality forces, the poor kids will be dragged up and down the East Coast during the hottest, most miserable summer in recorded memory.

Yes, kids, hop aboard the Summer of [Some] Marriage[s] Van, where you’ll get to attend rallies, some attended by as many as dozens of people, in support of the fairness-stopping agenda!

Better bring your video games and plenty of stuff to do.

Here’s a conversation that I’m imagining having with my kids were I to suggest a counter-tour (which, by the way, someone without kids and with some time ought to organize; follow these dreary killjoys from pillar to post, and liven things up with some clever, performance art-type responsive rallies):

Me: Kids, this year we won’t be going to the beach, or to any water parks, or to camp.

Girls: Daddy, what will we be doing instead?

Me: We’re going to travel across the country in a van, and get out at some points and talk to people about things that matter to us.

Girls: What things? Having fun?

Me: Not exactly.

Girls: This sounds boring.

Me: Someday you’ll understand.

Girls: {burst into tears}

Maybe NOM should try a stealthier approach, since the van they’re using might as well have a sign on it that says: “Egg Me!” (which I don’t for a minute condone; eggs are too valuable to waste). Perhaps they could salvage this van, and trick the kids into thinking they’re headed for stardom: